


Orders

by Starofwinter



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Post-Order 66
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 08:31:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8482615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starofwinter/pseuds/Starofwinter
Summary: Prompt: ❝I wanted to shoot him. I didn’t, but I wanted to. I wanted to kill him. I wanted him dead.❞





	1. Chapter 1

Cody shakes as he laces his fingers behind his neck.  “Do it, Rex.  Just- just fucking do it.  I deserve it.  I gave the order to kill Obi-Wan.”  He sounds utterly _wrecked_ as he says it, and it’s clear that he hasn’t been taking care of himself - he’s gaunt and pale and the circles under his eyes are a deep violet.  “Fucking take the shot.”

“I’m not gonna execute you,” Rex says, and his voice is shaking almost as much.  He holsters his blaster, lifting his brother to his feet.  It’s easier than he expects, because Cody isn’t just _gaunt,_ he’s skin and bones, and that terrifies Rex to the core.  “Cody-”

“No, Rex.  No.  I wanted to shoot him. I didn’t, but I _wanted_ to. I wanted to kill him. I wanted him dead.”  His voice breaks into the low whine of a wounded, terrified animal at the end, and he goes grey.  “I knew what I was doing when I gave that order.  I wanted to give it.  I deserve to be put down for treason.  I betrayed him, and he’s dead.”

Rex finally gets a good grip on Cody’s shoulders, pulling him tight against his chest and bundling him up in a hug.  “He’s not dead, vod.  He’s alive.  He’s _alive_.  It was the kriffing chips they put in, the one Fives told us about.  The fucking Chancellor activated it.  It wasn’t you, and Kenobi’s fine.  You hear me?  He’s alive.”

The next thing Cody registers is everything going black as he faints in Rex’s arms.


	2. Chapter 2

Cody wakes up to a room that isn’t a prison cell.  It’s bright and sunny, and the bed is soft.  He’s not cuffed, and he feels better than he has in a long time - still exhausted and completely devastated, but it’s numbed, a little.  Distant and fuzzy in the way he knows means strong sedatives and painkillers.  Thank the gods.  He can hear someone nearby, the slow, deep breaths of meditation.  

“You’re awake.”  The voice is so familiar, warm despite the worry.  “We weren’t sure-”

His breath hitches as his eyes fly open, and if he  _ could _ sit up, he would, but his body won’t cooperate, and there’s a gentle hand resting on his chest to keep him still.  “Obi-Wan-  You’re alive,” he whispers, and to his horror, his voice is shaky and his eyes sting with tears, “I-  I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I gave the order, I’m sorry.”

Obi-Wan smiles back at him, the expression touched by grief, but as gentle and kind as ever.  “Oh,  _ Cody _ ,” he says, and there’s a world of pain - for  _ him _ \- in that tone, “I know.  I know you did, but I don’t blame you.  I know it wasn’t your fault.” 

“I wanted you dead,” he whispers, choked and overwhelmed and damn near hysterical, “I don’t-  I don’t know why, I don’t understand.  I hated you.”  

“Cody.   _ Cody _ , I want you to focus on me.  Eyes on me, Commander.”  

He manages to get himself under control enough to focus on the Jedi in front of him.  “Sir.”

“It’s alright.  I forgive you.  Do you hear me?  I forgive you, and it’s time you forgave yourself.”

He swallows hard, thinking about how long he’s hated himself for the order he passed down.  From waking up in an Imperial bunk, to just walking out the fucking front door to go AWOL, to weeks without food and barely any water because he can’t keep anything down, to sleepless nights that blur together in nightmares of ordering his Jedi to be killed by the men Obi-Wan trusted the most…  He doesn’t know how long it’s been since he woke up with the knowledge that he murdered the man he swore to serve.  “I don’t know if I can.”

“It’s alright,” Obi-Wan says, and he rests his hand on Cody’s, “It’s alright.”  Somehow, Cody believes him.


	3. Chapter 3

_ “He’s awake.”   _

It’s all Rex needs to hear to send him rushing through the halls to find his brother.  A week.  A week straight of sitting at Cody’s bedside, worrying himself sick while he watches him sleep -  _ so fucking still, Cody was never that still, never that tired, never  _ **_wasting away_ ** _ like that, all the little gods what happened to his brother _ \- and of course the temperamental bastard decided to wake up when he’d finally been convinced to go shower, eat a decent meal, and get some sleep that wasn’t in a hard medbay chair.  He skids to a stop to see Cody fiddling with a datapad held in hands that shake in a way they haven’t since they were cadets in their first live fire exercise.  “Cod’ika,” he says quietly, and the surprise on his brother’s face when he looks up is enough to break his heart.

“Rex.”  Cody smiles and it’s tired and weak still, but it’s there, and his brother is  _ there _ and alive and he looks at peace - a sharp contrast to the haunted man who’d begged him to put a bolt through his head just a week earlier.  

He swallows hard and closes the distance between them to wrap Cody in a tight hug, closing his eyes against the stinging tears there.  “Fuck, vod, I missed you.”  His voice is hoarse as he says it, broken and full of nothing but love.

“Missed you too, vod.”  Cody trembles in his arms, and for a little while, they sit together in silence.  There’s nothing more that needs to be said.


End file.
